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Tina Hou Marer - Terapi og rådgivning

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Giv slip - Vær fri

Opslået d. 6. september 2016 kl. 15.55

Kontrol er godt for meget……

Den har i hvert fald hjulpet mig igennem mange af de buler, jeg har mødt på min vej igennem livet. Kontrol er ofte en overlevelsesstrategi, som rigtig mange af os gør brug af. Det gør jeg også. Jeg bryder mig faktisk ikke om, ikke at være i kontrol. Jeg ved, at kontrollen hæmmer mig i mange af de ting, jeg gerne vil her i livet, og samtidig holder den sammen på mig, og gør mig, til den jeg er.


Når jeg endelig tør slippen kontrollen fri, så oplever jeg for en stund friheden, friheden til at være mig, uden at skulle sætte regler, gøremål og hindringer op for mig selv. Samtidig mærker jeg angsten. Den handler mest om alt det ukendte, at jeg ikke ved, hvad som kommer, hvad jeg kan forvente mig, for jeg har jo sluppet kontrollen.


Prisen jeg betaler for at være i kontrol er stor………….

 ”Jeg holder ’verden’ i en armlængde fra mig selv”.

 ”Jeg vil/skal det hele selv, men magter det alligevel ikke”.

 ”Jeg slår mig selv i hovedet, når jeg ikke leverer det, som jeg tror, andre forventer af mig”.

 ”Jeg får dårlig samvittighed, når jeg ikke ”inviterer” og tager kontakt til venner og familie, for det er jo mit ’ansvar’ ikk’”.

 ”Jeg er hård & kontant, når jeg føler at mine grænser overskrides eller jeg selv mister overblikket”.

 ”Alt skal planlægges. Spontanitet – hvad er det”?

 ”Jeg skal selv være med i planlægningen, når det inkluderer mig – tænk hvis der aftales noget, som jeg ikke vi være med til, fordi jeg skammer mig”!

 ”Jeg presser mig selv hårdt. Hvis ikke andre gør noget, så gør jeg det selv, for det er vel mit ansvar”.

 ”Jeg har svært ved at nyde hverdagen – ser hele tiden fremad – men hvad med nuet, hvor blev det af”?

 ”Jeg ved jeg kan, og alligevel …… jeg føler mig lille og mindreværd, særligt i forhold til autoriteter”.


Det er, når vi tør slippe kontrollen, at vi bliver frie. Så bliver vi i stand til at mærke os selv, finde ind til kernen af den vi er, gøre det vi brænder for, uden at vi rammes af skyld og skam, uden at der er en indre røst, som irettesætter os. Når vi tør sætte os selv frie, så mærker vi nuet, vi bliver i stand til at elske os selv, for den vi er, og når vi elsker os selv, kan vi elske andre.


Tør du give slip og blive FRI?


Kontakt mig her for mere information.

 

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