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Life Balance

Tina Hou Marer - Terapi og rådgivning

Når værdifulde relationer skal styrkes

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Ensom

Opslået d. 24. februar 2015 kl. 8.55

At fødes og dø alene

Det at være ensom er et eksistentielt vilkår for os alle. Vi fødes alene og vi dør alene. Der er ingen til at dele momentet med os, det er et vilkår vi alle må forholde os til, og leve med. Alligevel søger vi igennem hele vores liv at udfylde tomrummet, at mindske følelsen af ensomhed. Vi søger efter at være del af et fællesskab, have nære relationer, som vi kan dele livet med, småt og godt, op- og nedgange, modgang og medgang, ja alt det livet fører med sig og har at byde på.

Ensomheden opstår i os, når vi oplever at vores sociale behov ikke dækkes af vores relationer. Det er der desværre rigtig mange af os, som oplever. Det gælder især for vores unge men også for den ældre generation. Omkring 6% af alle unge føler sig ensomme hele tiden eller næsten hele tiden. Det er alt for mange.  Der kan være  forskelligartede årsager til ensomhed. Det kan skyldes mobning, sygdom, modenhed, religion, at vi er flyttet, dødsfald, skilsmisse, studieskift, skift i arbejdsplads, at man ikke har sammenfaldende interesser med dem man omgåes, fysisk isolation og mange andre tilfældigheder. Måske kender du en tæt på dig, som du har en mistanke om er ensom. Og måske ved du ikke helt, hvordan du skal nå ind til personen, hvordan du kan hjælpe, for måske personen trækker sig. Det er helt naturligt for den som føler sig ensom at trække sig. Det er i vores samfund både pinligt og skamfuldt at være ensom, og derfor bliver det utrolig svært at sætte ord på ensomheden og række hånden frem og bede om hjælp. Ensom, og du vil ofte have manglende tiltro til andre, at de faktisk vil dig det godt.

Måske har du en forventning om at blive afvist, og det afholder dig fra at indgå i sociale aktiviteter. Selvom du bliver indbudt til at deltage, så siger du nej tak, da du ikke kan forestille dig, at de andres intentioner er gode, at de virkelig vil dig. De som du er omgivet af, og som prøver at række en hånd frem, vil ofte give op, og tage afstand. Det bliver en ond spiral som hverken du eller de kan bryde, før du er parat til at tage imod livet, at vove at stole på andre, at vove at vise andre dine sårbarheder med risiko for at de vender dig ryggen. Det er svært at gøre alene og sammen bliver det nemmere. Det vil jeg gerne hjælpe dig med.

Kategorier: Ensomhed, Børn og unge

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