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Life Balance

Tina Hou Marer - Terapi og rådgivning

Når værdifulde relationer skal styrkes

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Når "dampen går af kedlen"

Opslået d. 12. november 2014 kl. 13.15

Vi kender det alle sammen.Vi er top-gearet og super motiveret.


Vi går til 'projeket' med liv og sjæl og vi fyldes af energi og livslyst, som driver os mod målet. Det kan være at målet er at tabe sig, komme i form så vi kan løbe et marathon eller vinde golfklubbens årlige turnering. Det kan være at spare sammen til drømmeferien eller boligen, kæmpe for gode karakterer, og komme ind på drømmestudiet eller arbede hårdt for jobbet, som vi så inderligt brænder efter. "Projekterne" kan således have mange ansigter, men de har alle det til fælles, at de er målbare. Vi er fokuseret og vi går målrettet efter at projektet skal lykkes, og intet kan stoppe os.


Målet er nået, eller vi er tæt på, og hvad sker der så. Motivationen daler, energien forsvinder, fokus er der måske nok, men andre tanker får fat, og vi 'trækker' os selv ned med selvkritik og destruktive tanker. Vi slår os selv 'oveni' hovedet, bliver kede af det, ja måske endda vrede over, at vi ikke kan fastholde og blive i den positive cirkel. Hvorfor er det, at når vi har opnået vores mål, når vi virkelig er lykkes, at vi så ikke evner at holde fast? De ekstra kilo vi gerne ville tabe, de er væk, karaktererne som sikrer os adgang til drømmestudiet er i hus, formen er på plads og marathon er gennemført på den ønskede tid, kort sagt, vi er en succes.


Vi evner bare ikke at blive ved, målet er nået, og vi begynder at 'slappe af', vi lader 'luften sive ud af ballonen', og vi falder stille og roligt tilbage i de velkendte gamle mønstre. Sofaen trækker mere end løbeturen, de sunde madvarer lader vi blive i supermarkedet, og trangen til en lørdagskage vender tilbage, vi køber lige den ekstra bluse, selvom vi godt ved, at vi stadig skal spare, og jobbet, vi så gerne ville have, det viste sig ikke at være så spændende endda, eller måske bliver det for overvældende. Det er ikke fordi vi ikke er vedholdende eller stærke, men simpelthen fordi at vores vaner og livsmønstre ligger så dybt i os, at det tager tid at afkode noget, som vi har været hele livet om at lære.


Når vi skal lave om på vores vaner, vores måder at agere og reagere på, så må vi udvise barmhjertighed, tålmodighed og næstekærlighed. Vi må udvise samme empati og forståelse for os selv, som vi ville gøre det for vores nærmeste, og vi må forsøge ikke at fordømme os selv. Vi falder nemlig ikke tilbage i de gamle mønstre og vaner fordi vi er svage eller mangler karakterstyrke, men fordi det tager tid, tålmodighed og omsorg at afkode noget, som har været vores følgesvend igennem mange år. Det er vaner og livsmønstre som har haft en funktion, som har været vores måde at være i verden på, at overleve på. De har alle udfyldt huller i vores indre, som vi nu skal udfylde på anden vis, eller som vi måske er nødt til at kigge på, og arbejde med, for ikke at falde i.


Der skal mange forsøg til og for hvert forsøg bliver vi lidt stærkere i de nye livsvaner, vi kæmper med at tilegne os, så fortvivl ikke, men BLIV VED :)

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